1. Diagnose the problem.Examine your lifestyle and make sure you re carving out time to have sex with your partner.Sexuality is a pattern,something that needs to happen on an ongoing basis or else other things will crowd it out.Its about behaving your way to success.Like the old adage:Use it or loose it.
2. Figure out how sex got moved down the priority list.One of the biggest mistake couples make is when they have children,they stop being friends and lovers because they've become moms and dads.Being a parent is just one of the roles you play,and neglecting the role of partner and lover is a huge mistake.Its possible you need to learn to say no to other commitments.
3. Put your sex life on project status.Make conscious decision to recommit to each other and move sex higher on the priority list.Physical intimacy in a relationship deserve a lot of attention.You can start by making small changes.Put your kids to bed earlier ,don't fall asleep on the couch,go to bed the same time as your partner.
4. Ask yourself what you might or might not be doing to contribute to the situation,and what you can do to change things.Men are visually stimulated,so find places where you can small changes.For example fix your hair,dress smart and sexier for your partner.
5. Give yourself permission to get what you want.Claim your right and give voice to your needs.Being sexually satisfied and feeling wanted by your partner is a healthy and legitimate part a relationship.
6. Talk to your husband about your concern .Remember to be sensitive when bringing the subject up and pick an appropriate time-not when you re in the middle of an argument.Your husband may resist the conversation because there maybe underlying issues such as stress,depression,or medications that re interfering with his sex drive,but be supportive.If he is reluctant to open up about it,encourage him to look within himself in order to gain insight into his issues.
7. Stop complaining on what you re not getting and start creating what you want.Women tends to take marital problems very personally,and consequently feel sorry for themselves.You are not a victim;you are an adult and can work through this problem.
8. Get creative with your sex life.Find new ways to put some fun,energy,and excitement into your relationship.Have sex in different rooms of the house.Try different position.Don't feel shame or fear when asking for what you want.Give yourself permission to explore each other's fantasy any way you can.However, bringing a third party into the bedroom is not the answer.
9. Be patient,and most importantly,turn toward your partner.Come up with a plan together that you both can agree on and can be excited about,and will put into action.
